Contrary to popular belief, everything does not revolve around you. I do not mean to imply that you are not important. On the contrary, I am telling you this fact to help de-stress your life some.
So many of us take things too personally when it is not necessary. I will give you a couple of examples of what I mean. Please see if any of this resonates with you.
- If your manager is behind closed doors with his or her boss, do you ever wonder if they are talking about you or your job?
- If someone is rude to you, do you always assume it is because they do not like you?
- Do you feel victimized or criticized by everyone, including your loved ones?
- If someone gives their opinion of you and you do not agree, does it offend you?
Generally speaking the vast majority of people’s actions have to do with their own personal issues. Let’s take example number one. The likelihood of your bosses talking about you and your job security when they are behind closed doors is one out of however many employees in your company. What is that percentage? It is probably insignificant enough to calm your troubled mind.
In example number two, people who are rude are more than likely miserable in their own life. Their rudeness is a direct expression of their dissatisfaction with life. Their misery has nothing to do with you. It is unfortunate that they cannot control their negative behavior, however their rudeness should not be taken personally.
In example number three, I know people whose perceptions of situations are grossly inflated because of their past. If you think everyone is out to get you, what is the common denominator? Are you a horrible person? Are you a martyr? Or is it more likely that the common denominator is your perception of your encounters with these people? More than likely, you have been victimized once and therefore you think that everyone is attacking you. Surely it is not the case that everyone is out to get you. Perhaps a switch in your perception would ease your anxiety.
Finally, in the fourth scenario, what is more important to you: other people’s opinions of you or your own opinion of yourself? In my opinion, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and that includes me! My opinion of myself is way more important that what other people think of me. Because that is my mindset, if someone expresses an opinion of me that I do not agree with, I say to myself “OK, that’s their opinion and they are entitled to it. Their opinion should not make me feel bad.”
In fact, the only thing that can make you feel bad is YOU!
In each of these examples, the general theme is that how you perceive the world is how the world feels to you. If you see the world as a place of gossip, or rudeness, or victimization, then that is how you will view everyone around you. However, if you own your sense of self and project happiness, other people’s behaviors will not affect you as much. Conveniently, you will live a much happier life with a lot less anxiety.
Anxiety and stress can be managed with your attitude. Attitude is everything in this life. Does your attitude maybe need a slight adjustment? If so, it is really no big deal. We can all benefit from an attitude adjustment, even me. In fact, I constantly check in with myself to make sure my attitude is in check, because it is crucial to my happiness that I have a good attitude.
Remember, stress is a RESPONSE. How you respond to stress is an indicator of your happiness. How will you choose to live today?
“You cannot let what other people think of you have any bearing on how you behave.” ~RuPaul