Do you have someone in your life who has the tendency to drain the energy right out of you? This person probably does not mean to, or is even aware it is going on, but sure enough, he or she is exhausting to be around.

I call people like that energy vampires. They mean no harm, but they feed off of your attention. They crave it like a vampire would crave your blood. Acting like an energy vampire can manifest itself in different ways. Perhaps these people who only talk about what is going on in their lives, and never think to ask you what is going on in yours. Or maybe you know someone who is so negative all of the time that they suck the happiness right out of your spirit.

If you know someone who is draining to be around, I think it is your obligation to let them know in a loving way that there is a better way for them to behave. Instead of being negative, they can be positive. And instead of not giving any attention to the events happening in your life, they can share the spotlight and share the friendship with you.

Chances are that energy vampires are not aware of their impropriety. They need someone to point out that their actions make it difficult to be around them. Pointing out a better way for them can be done in a constructive and polite way, so that they do not feel attacked. This is important so that they are receptive to the idea of improving themselves. Think of it this way, if no one ever informs these people of their transgressions, how will they ever be aware of the fact that they are difficult to be around?

More importantly, telling someone in the nicest and most loving way possible that their behavior is inappropriate is a very powerful tool in empowering yourself and accepting your right to be happy. Most of the time when someone acts this way, we would either avoid them, or worse, we might talk about them behind their back. But avoidance is cowardly, and gossip is spreading negative energy, or in other words, becoming an energy vampire yourself.

It is your duty to accept your own happiness; no one else is going to do it for you.

It is also a nice thing to help others become more empowered themselves. You do not have to shout at them, or tell them you cannot be around them any more. You can simply suggest to them that they are living in a very negative head space right now, and that there is a better way out there if they want to hear about it. When your actions come from a place of love, people are less likely to take offense to them. Moreover, when you are in a loving place, you will be less likely to be affected by energy vampires.

It is a critical step in your own happiness not to get sucked into other people’s dramas. If you offer your advice and they do not take it, it is their problem, not yours. You can then let them know you shared your way of helping and it did not work for them, so you have nothing else to share when it comes to their problems. I guarantee once they no longer get attention from you regarding their bad behavior, they will not act that way around you any more. Most energy vampires act that way because they crave attention. Only offer them positive advice once or twice. After that, cut them off, and they will not try to feed on your anymore.

Your happiness depends on your ability to stand up for it. So if you are constantly giving your happiness away by listening to other people’s problems over and over again, then the problem becomes yours. It is not selfish to put your own happiness first. Self-love is not selfishness. In fact, it is the best way to live because then you become a role model for others. You set a positive example when you empower yourself and choose happiness over misery.

Brighten the world with your self-respect. The world will appreciate you for it!

With love,


"If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else." -RuPaul


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