I have many creative and inspirational friends. I encourage this blog to be a place of sharing words of wisdom by my friends. Below, you will find a piece written by my friend Rudolph Pallas. He was inspired by my blog post Let Love Be The Anthem, and by Michael Jackson’s music, particularly “Thriller.” His work is meant to symbolize the universal feeling of being afraid to love someone when you have been hurt in the past.
Wanting to find romantic love is universal. I was an anthropology major in college, and I remember learning from my studies that all cultures are concerned with being loved by another.
So, what happens to us when we do not find love? Worse, what happens when we find love, but our hearts get broken? Below, you will find Rudy’s words of the fear of vulnerability and heartache. I believe we can all identify with his words.
If I were to hear this story from someone I would encourage them to reach inside and find self-love. Finding happiness within is exponentially more important than finding romantic love. When we value the love we have for ourselves more than the love that we want from others, we feel complete from the inside out.
Walking with a self-fulfilled heart is an empowering experience. There is no self-doubt; there is no shame; there is no regret; there is no emptiness. What more, feeling self-fulfilled in our heart chakra gives us a sense of confidence that is very attractive to others, and not just romantically or physically. People will enjoy your company and want to know your secret.
Being whole from within also eases any pain that might have once come from a break up, or anxiety we experience from rejection from a peer or former lover. Personally, if someone does not like what I have to offer the world, I am not offended because my sense of self comes from within. It took me over a decade of self-reflection to arrive at this place, but it was worth the effort. Before, I struggled with anxiety. Now, I live without the worry that others might not approve of me.
I truly believe that everyone has a right to their own opinion, and that opinion can include not liking me. I do not require that people to like me, because I like myself. To quote the Whitney Houston song, “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.”
I do not mean to imply to you that you should not love others or want to experience love from others. On the contrary, let me proclaim that love is the most wonderful emotion in the world. What I am suggesting is to let a strong sense of self-love radiate outward from our being, and from that place, share your love with others.
Be strong in your own heart first, before seeking to receive love from the outside. Needing to receive love from others to feel complete is problematic, but sharing your love with others once you feel complete is joyous.
There is no greater power, in my opinion, than the power of love. In yoga we say that Love is God. Love thyself; love thy neighbor; love thy family. The goal is to give and receive as much love as you can in this life, and to let your love inspire others.
Without further adieu, I share with you Scary Love by Rudolph Pallas
Scary Love by Rudolph Pallas
What’s so scary about Love? We all want to feel cherished and adored by our family, friends, and loved ones. We all want to find that special girl or guy that will reciprocate our feelings for each other; one who respects us and inspires us to greater emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. So, what in the heck is so scary about Love?
Ultimately, there is nothing scary about Love. No boogeyman is going to attack us with crazy string while we’re slow dancing at the club. The monster under the bed will not hurt us if we have fine tuned the love song in our hearts. We’ve meditated and, some of us, participated in yoga to transcend and transform the darker side of our soul to a light that shines with warmth and tender goodness for those we cherish.
I ask again, what is scary about Love? What is scary is that it seems to be too good to be true. I’ve written journal entries sitting on a log by the ocean. I’ve followed my intuition to discern what thoughts and feelings of mine come from Love and what is just my ego trying to sabotage my belief and experience that Love is real. I’ve saved myself from the fear of loving who I am regardless of the adventures life has taken me through the rain forests of reality and the many self-made exotic creatures that I only think threaten me.
However, loving someone else in the same intimate way is scary. Has she dealt with the wounds of childhood that we all have? Will she hurt me if I let her into my heart? Will he damage you if you tell him your inner most dreams and fears? Will he leave you just when you thought you had found your Prince?
I have not conquered my fear of love. I feel it is scary. So, from here I must speak from belief rather than direct experience. We can have our hearts broken. Our world can end so many times until we realized we were never really a victim of some teen wolf, zombies, or what ghosts may figuratively haunt us.
Ultimately, if we only believe that Love is possible for us… if we believe that that special girl or guy is among the gardens to share the purity and joy of nature’s fruits… we will find a peace, love, and joy that can never be threatened. Because it is too powerful. Love is too powerful like a gentle yet all-encompassing embrace that once we find it, we’ll never have to be scared again. Or will we need be? I’m too scared to say… Hahaha.