I took a yoga class last night. When the room was silenced during our Savasana practice, Corpse Pose, a woman began vehemently screaming at her boyfriend right below the yoga studio.
I thought to myself “Isn’t that interesting? It’s like a play dramatized right before me.”
Then it occurred to me (though I was not supposed to be thinking during Savasana), that life is a series of plays strung along side one another. I am quite certain that is not an original thought, but it did strike a chord with me at that particular moment.
No More Drama
I remembered that in 2001, when Mary J. Blige’s “No More Drama” came out, I made the title to that album my anthem.
How much drama do you have in your life, and I am not referring to a Drama Club here? Is some of it unnecessary? Is any of it made to be more dramatic than it needs to be?
“Define dramatic”, you might be asking yourself. Well, I would define dramatic to mean anything that upsets you, or something that runs through your head often and bothers you.
How to De-Dramatize Your Live
If something bothers you or upsets you and it keeps happening over and over again, I would suggest you seriously consider its place in your life. Does it need to be there?
Maybe it has to stay in your life, but it does not have to upset you. Whether or not you let something upset you is 100% your decision. If you do not want something to upset you, you can choose to let it go.
I know that is harder than it sounds, but it is possible. When things that upset you occur in your life, try practicing gratitude in that moment for all the wonderful things you do have.
You can also focus on your breathing. When you actively slow down your inhales and slow down your exhales, you stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, or the “rest and digest” nervous system.
Deep, slow breathing automatically calms your mind and brings about a sense that everything will be ok.
Another great trick is to take a step back from the drama and observe it. I learned this from my meditation teacher.
In meditation, you observe your thoughts. Without judgment, you just notice what you are thinking.
Without judging what is going on around you, next time you are in a dramatic situation, you could try watching the drama like a play, just witnessing what is happening, instead of getting personally involved.
Finally, the most important tool I use to remove the unnecessary drama from my life is to set boundaries with people. If someone is in need of attention, but so am I, I tell that person I will be happy to help them, but I have to take care of myself first.
If you do not take care of yourself before you help others, you will overtax yourself, which leads to illness. Does that bring to mind any rundown mothers you might know?
Mothers are the most common archetype of people who put the needs of others before the needs of themselves. But even mothers have to schedule a little “Me Time” to stay sane.
Be careful to fall into the trap of putting yourself last. It robs you of your self-respect, even if helping people makes you feel good. A do-gooder’s needs are often not taken into consideration by the people they help.
Everyone deserves personal space, including mothers and do-gooders. Personal space will help you put into perspective all of the drama you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.
“Me Time” gives you the time you need to process all of the drama you encounter daily. During “Me Time” you can utilize your breathing techniques, your meditation techniques, and your gratitude practice to observe the drama and determine if it really needs to be there, or if you can let go of some of your personal attachment to help calm your life.
These are just some of the tricks I have picked up to de-dramatize my life. Do you have any tips you would like to share?